Saturday, January 26, 2013

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Those awkward moments when I find myself unable to utter anything but brief banalities and I realize that I am behaving like a zombie on obituaries...

Sometimes, I think of the other side. Topics under the sun can range from mammoths to economics. Sometimes I cannot relate myself to some topics yet I must force myself to respect the speaker by making sympathetic noises if needed. Responding to the topic may sometimes get delayed, not really cancelled, because I usually reflect before speaking my mind. I cannot expect myself to talk like there's no morrow on trivias about football. Surely, we all have our own line of interests.

At other times, what holds me from opening my mouth and eventually fail to keep up is mistrust. When I am with my intimate friends, I am comfortable talking especially sensitive topics like lust and other dreadful things I could imagine. Yet when conversing with new people, I usually don't open up everything especially personal matters that might touch principles of others. When I am forced to make a comment or share an experience, I do but with reservations. 

Many instances also, I am having an emotional lag. Gauging my maturity level, I can say that I have not so far reached the ideal stage to be a sensible adult. When my colleagues in work talk about topics like family life I usually find myself able to relate some times and unable to relate at other times. Maybe because I cannot expect or force myself to speak on something I did not personally experience like taming a partner or rearing a child.

I think that it is normal that as humans we experience a period of fixation in this planet that is drowning with words. I must admit that oftentimes I get mercifully slow and run out of words to say, and well, even words to write like for this blog.

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