Saturday, February 23, 2013

Emotional Fixations

I recently went for a neurological and psychiatric exam. And hey, don't get me wrong for this. It was not I was referred to the test because I have 'attitude' in work but because it was one of the requirements.

The test was composed of three parts. The first test was the usual objective type mostly employing logic, reasoning and analysis. The second was a personal sentence completion test about experiences, memories and preferences. The third was a series of drawing lines, objects and figures.

At the end of the exam, one of the impressions of the psychologist was that I still cling to emotional fixations at my age. I am amazed rather than surprised to unravel this mystery. After some self evaluations, I realized that I might actually have a lot of share of fixations in life. 

As far as I can recall, in psychoanalysis, fixation can be described as a process by which a person stays attached to a previous stage of his development. In a the parlance of mediocre person, it is an obsession to some objects or experiences or persons in early life.

The psychologist did not indicate specific instances to point out my emotional fixations and I don't know how the psychologist came up with such impression. But looking back at my answers in the test, I found vivid accounts of my emotional fixations although I am in question because I am not a certified psychologist in the first place.

I recalled and observed that most of my personal responses in the synonymous sentence completion items about memories were mostly about childhood nostalgia like liking to scribble anything, enjoying to read books, missing the study times, regretting the unproductive activities, etc. 

At the third part of the test, I was asked on the spot to draw a boy and a girl, to which I illustrated children ready to go to school. They were both neatly wearing school uniforms. They were also both having big smiles in their countenances. My description under the drawing must have confirmed after I wrote something like they enjoy going to school.

With these, must I be obsessed with the old school days when everything seemed just bright and happy? Honestly, I am. In my daily ramblings as an adult, it is inevitable to face mistakes, failures and disappointments. I always look back at my childhood days where I feel better; happy memories remind me to make good and sad regrets inspire me to do better.

Nobody is a superhero and we are doomed to meet failures - a lot of them. We fixate by looking for things inside us that make us feel secured. I believe that it is essential for humans to have emotional fixations in life. As the root of the term denotes, to fix means to set right and place securely.

How about your own fixations?

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